Not long ago, I had an opportunity to spend the morning with my niece, giving my sister (a busy mother of 2) a chance to rest up a little.
While most of our time consisted of the expected activities one would use to keep a 3 year old busy, (such as drawing, finger paints, PlayDough etc.) there happened a brief moment that for me, was completely unexpected.
We’d been coloring, and Asha was showing me the Bible drawing book she had made at Sunday school, when the following conversation ensued:
“Auntie Joy?” “Yes my girl?” “Do you know why Jesus died for us?” “Why?” “Because he loved us so much, more than mommy loves me, and he wanted to save us from our deadness.” “That’s right Bean.” (Asha was getting excited at this point) “And, and, He loved us so much! Jesus is so good! He’s so good Auntie Joy, He’s just so good I want- I just want to jump!” (at this point she was literally bouncing in her seat) I laughed, and she went back to coloring, but still bouncing, and still occasionally remarking about the goodness of Jesus.
I didn’t think much of it at the time, but her words continued to flow throughout my consciousness the rest of the afternoon, convicting my heart.
Later that evening, as I thought over the events of the day, tears pricked the corners of my eyes.
The same conviction that had struck me earlier that morning now hit me again, with an intensity I was unprepared for.
The enthusiasm with which a child had reveled in the goodness of her Creator. There was a time, I remembered, when I was that child. Unabashed about my convictions, enthused in my faith and desiring only to worship my Creator. Where was that person now I wondered? How long had it been since I had stopped to appreciate the goodness of my Father? His grace? His unending Love? Or even the fact that the Son of Glory Himself chose to die to save ME from my “deadness”?
How many times in my busy schedule had I made the time to talk to my redeemer? -Oh sure, there’d been the quick hurried prayer or two throughout my day. But how long had it been since I had just pressed into Jesus?
The sudden realization came: I had become as the Israelites of Old... I, had forgotten God.
Not to say that I had forgotten his existence, but rather, that I had forgotten his wonder. See, the Goodness of God, which is so prevalent all around us, had become monotony for me.
And when we forget God, we forget how much we need him.
The tears flowed freely as I looked back over the last few months. Things had become chaotic. My schedule was crazy, emotionally, mentally, physically- and really-spiritually, I was drained. I felt like I had noting left to give, yet my job, my life, my health and my routines all kept demanding more of me.
So I kept giving and giving and giving but I was never being replenished. No wonder I was so exhausted.
That night, I stopped. I stopped running, I stopped trying, and I stopped thinking I had to do it all myself. Instead, I took some deliberate time to seek out my Heavenly Father. And oh! It was so good!
In the presence of my Abba Father, I found wholeness, I found the rest that I had been striving for amidst my chaos, I found peace, and yes, I found joy... I found, in truth, the goodness of God.
I still have to be continually reminded to lean into him, to retrieve his goodness, and to be refreshed. But oh, how patient He is with this child.
He is so good, He is just so good.